Pee Pee Sample

Daddy and Adayla had a bit of Daddy/Daughter time today....in the words of Tim, here it is:

I took Adayla today to get a physical so she can enroll in a Chinese-speaking kindergarten. I called the hospital that the kindergarten required us to use and asked them when they were open for children's school-entry physical exams and they said all day from 8:30 to 4:30 pm. So Adayla and I took the taxi over to this hospital, registered, and arrived at the office at 12:20, only to find that they were closed from 11:30-1:30. So I asked an attendant if there was some place where we could eat (I was planning on eating at 1, after the physical). The attendant took me to the hospital cafeteria. I thought what the heck, does it get any more authentic than this? I went through the line and the first thing they put on my plate was a block of rice. When I say block, seriously it was the size of a regular-sized, rectangular brick. Then in other sections of the tray they put on some sort of vegetable, curry chicken and potatoes, a bowl of soup, and a rib. The total cost was 7 RMB, so a bit less than a buck. The food was actually pretty decent - Adayla and I put most of it away. She's quite a good rice eater. The one thing is though that I can't eat chicken here as it's various parts on the bone with the skin - it's too much work to get any of the meat. I watched others to see how they ate the chicken and the rib – sure enough, they still use their chopsticks so I used mine. I'm still kind of amazed that chopsticks haven't been replaced by the “spork” but that's another topic I guess. Adayla also drank most of my 8-ounce bottle of water – we'll get to that later.

We went back to the exam offices where there was a big Little Tikes playground set up. Adayla had fun playing there. We were the only people there until about 1:15, then people started to come. At 1:35 a hospital worker came and opened one of the offices. I noticed as one couple and their baby “snuck” in before I got to the office. So much for the ticket with a number that I had... whatever. So Adayla gets measured: she weighed in at 28 pounds, and measured exactly 36 inches in height. But when they lifted up her shirt to measure her waist and chest, she began to cry very loud. They got their measurements and we went to the office next door. When I arrived there, the couple that snuck in before me were being seen, so I sat in the seat right outside. While sitting there, a lady with her mom walked their child right past me and into the office and stood there as the other folks were being seen. I thought they'd be asked to leave, but no, that's just the way you do things. So after the first family left, I stood up and went in to wait while this second family-that-cut-me-off was being seen. I'm feeling a bit awkward being in there as the doc is doing the physical exam on this kid, but then another lady comes in with her parents and her child and stand in front of us. I thought “no way,” I'm going to get cut-off for a third time. The grandma put their paperwork on the desk and began talking to the doctor. “Uh, excuse me, can you wait?!” When the second family that cut me off was finished, the grandma took her grandson from the mother and put him on the doctor's desk. Again, whatever. I need to learn how to say, “Hey, I was here first, please wait your frickin' turn” in Chinese. Fortunately the doctor told her to take the child off, that we were next. After the doc was done with her exam, she told me that I needed to take Adayla for a blood test and “xiao bian.” I knew what that was - “pee pee” - and I wasn't happy thinking about how I was going to get my girl to pee in a cup for me.

So we go over to the lab – it's pretty assembly line-like. You walk up to the big glass window, put your arm under and they do whatever they need to (give shots, take blood, give them pee-pee samples, etc). Adayla saw the person in front of us getting a “da zhen” (shot) and she did not want one of those. We were next and the technician read our paper and before we knew it, she had pricked Adayla's finger and was taking blood for a sample. So Adayla starting to cry hysterically now. I had seen a snack shop on the way to the lab and told her she could pick out a treat. While still upset, she at least calmed down a bit. They then gave me the pee-pee cup. It was about a ¼ cup measuring cup – no lid, nothing else, just this cup with a little handle. I asked Adayla if she needed to go pee-pee toilet and she said no. So we went to go pick out her treat. Adayla and I walked up and down four isles and she didn't see anything that she wanted (and she's still a bit upset). Then she saw the bottles of Coke and said she wanted a Coke. This is perhaps a “bad father moment”, but I thought what the heck, she needs fluids to pee, and the caffeine should help her do that as well, and the sugar will guarantee that she'll drink lots of it! So I bought it and we went to a lobby for a drink. We went to the lobby outside of this store to have a drink, but before she could she starts saying “Daddy, I need to barf. I'm sick, I need to barf now.” She had upset herself so much, that now she felt she needed to barf. So after putting her head into the bag that I just got at the store for a minute, she stopped dry-heaving and grunting and she asked for a drink. I then took Adayla back to the waiting area with the playground to help her pass the time as her bladder hopefully continued to fill up. As we walked back, we stopped in the men's room right by the lab and as I feared, the toilet was no “toilet” but rather “footprints with a hole.” The thought of the logistics of getting this pee-pee sample was going to be near-impossible, so I hoped that the bathroom by the playground was better. This other bathroom was interesting – it had a common area for men and women to wash their hands, but then the men's/women's rooms branched off from there. I noticed a traditional toilet in the women's room and hope that I would find the same in the men's room, but no, the men's room only had footprints with a hole. So at least I had a sitter toilet to work with, even though it was in the women's room...

So we sat down by the playground and let Adayla drink as much as she wanted. She drank a bit, then went to play for a little bit. I kept asking her if she needed to go and soon she said she did! So we rushed into the women's room to get our sample. I got her situated, got the cup ready and she went, only it wasn't that much, and I didn't have time to get the cup to where it needed to be. I asked her to go a little bit more, but she couldn't. So she was dry. We went back out to the playground. Now I needed to get some fluids through her. I had a bottle of water, but she didn't want any of that. So I gave her the bottle of Coke and told her to drink as much as she wanted. I wonder if she even thought about what I was saying. Well, in about five minutes, she finished off the half-liter of Coke that she started. There were other parents and grandparents just watching, but I was desperate. It was now 2:30, the place closes at 4:30 and I needed to get fluids through my girl, get the results back, and get them to the doctor to sign off the examination form. I kept asking if she needed to go. At 3:00 she said she needed to go, so we rushed to the women's room, but she got “stage fright” as I positioned the cup in place. After trying to coerce her for five minutes, I gave up and we went back to play. Shortly before 3:30, she said she needed to go. Again we rushed, got her into position and I was as well, and she went! Wow, did she go – my cup was running over and I couldn't get my hand out. So to avoid losing my sample, I waited until she was done and relaxed, then I could get my hand back out.
This leads to the discussion of bathrooms in China. As discussed, the standard is footprints with a hole – standard toilets are seldom found. Also, toilet paper is usually not provided. I though for sure they would in a hospital, but no even there, it's BYOTP. Finally, this bathroom did not have soap, and nothing to dry your hands. While waiting for Adayla to go pee-pee, I kept an eye on that women's bathroom to see when it was clear so we could dash inside or wait for a minute until the ladies were out of it. I saw one of Adayla's doctors go in and out and thought, you know, there isn't any soap in there. So much for the sign that says that all employees must wash their hands with soap before returning to work, never mind doctors in a hospital.

I placed the sample into Adayla's unused barf bag for some protection, we washed as best we could (Adayla now says, “I dried my hands on Daddy's kuzi (pants)), and we made the two-minute walk back to the lab without spilling! I turned in the sample, waited about 10 minutes, and then took the results back to the doc. So we were out of there just before 4 pm.
Knowing that Adayla had a half-liter of Coke in her system, I asked her if she needed to go pee-pee before our taxi ride home (about 20 minute ride). She said no and she made it home. This evening, however, she has gone pee-pee several times! She's been potty-trained for a year now, hopefully she makes it through the night...

Now Adayla is all ready to register at her Kindergarten this week. She'll start classes next month!

Tim writes much better than I! I think I will let him be in charge of this blogging thing.....